A series of conversations leading to the Unexpected

((Right. This story isn't Official just yet as it hasn't happened IC jusr yet - I must wait for another story that preceeds this to be posted before it can happen IC. Anyways, I enjoyed writing it as it is lighter and funnier than previous stuff. And it is in no way consistent with lore or anything like that ))


It was a particulary busy day today it seemed. The hawkers were extra loud today and Quintilius tried his best to ignore them as he pushed his way through the streets. Suddenly there was a mild poff.

"Sir?"
"Ew. Go away"
"But Sir. I have exactly what you need.."
"Really? Is it a re-"
"This!"
"What's that?"
"It's what you need!"
"Looks more like an old dusty scroll to me."
"Yessss..."
"Does it have the recipe for blu-"
"TAKE IT!"
"Okey okey! Damnit. I'll take it. See? I'll put it in my pocket"
"That'll be 40 gold pieces, guv'nor"
"What? I ain't paying for -"
"THIEF THIEF!"
"Okey okey! Here! Now Begone!

Poff

"This better be a recipe for blueberry pancakes or I'm going to be very annoyed.."

------

Later that evening...

"Right. Bowl, check! Whisk, check! Frying pan, check! Butter, check! Spatula, check! Okey, now lets look at this recipe. Hm. Six candles? What? Er, yeah allright I got that somewhere. One piece of coal? What the.. Must be for the fire, anyways, I got that somehwere too. One medium sized cup of menstruation blood from an untouched virgin? What in the flying shit is this? This ain't blueberry pancakes.. Hurn? And an item important to the soul to be summoned? Lets see.. read these incantations three.. turn around.. dagger.. hm..hm.. stab myself? Allright. That feller was certainly all wrong. I don't need this!"

Poff

"HEE-YA!"
"Sir?"
"I got a frying pan!"
"Very good, sir"
"I could've hit you just then!"
"Certainly, sir"
"How did you get here?"
"The portal of nesscesity, sir"
"What?"
"The por-"
"I heard you. What are you doing here?"
"Making sure you are following the recipe, sir"
"THIS ISN'T FOR BLUEBERRY PANCAKES!"
"Deftly percieved, sir."
"Well, what is it then?"
"It's an ancient summoning ritual for lost souls. It's very rare, sir."
"Look, all i wanted was a damn blueberry pancake recipe and you give me this humbug voodoo bull-"
"You can summon back Cassidy with that, sir."
"-shit.. What??"
"You can summon back Cass-"
"Pngfyxl! How? Why? Who the hell are you anyways? youbetterstartexplainingyerselfmisterorIwll-"
"Cassidy must come back. her role in the Grand Scheme of Things is not fully played out yet and You must be the one to summon her."
"What? Why me?"
"You sent a Letter, sir."
"Letter? What letter?"
"To her."
"I didn.. Oh.. That letter.."
"Yessss..."
"But I was on-"

Poff

"I'm starting to dislike that guy.."

----------

Even later that evening..

"Are you sure she is untouched?"
"mmmpphm"
"Oh yes, guv'nor. As innocent as they come!"
"MMMPH!"
"And, er, its that time of the month?"
"..."
"Oh yes, guv'nor. We keep track of such things."
"mmmphm"
"Oh. You do?"
"MMMMMMMPH!!!" smack
"Yes, we take our business seriously, guv'nor."
"I'm sure you do. How much?
"A measly 350 gold pieces guv'nor"
"What?! I only need her for five minutes!"
"I'm sure you do, guv'nor. 350 goldpieces"
"Damn bloodsuckers.."
"No you."
"What?"
"Nothing."

------------------


Early next morning...

"[...]Ixnay tk'ftanga MAOF!! ... ... That should do it.. Oh wait.. The dagger.. OK, here goes.. GNAAAFGH!"

The symbol on the floor suddenly twisted and for a moment reality seemed to hiccup as the floor split open and a creature wrought of nightmare rose from whatver cosmic cesspit of unfathomable filth it had been living in. It's hundreds of tentacles filled the room and slithered into eachother as a nest of crazed snakes. The foul thing, which no words can truly describe, turned it's horrible gaze at Quintilius.

"Who dares disturb !Xkrrk! the Terrible!"
"Er. Hi, I'm Qui-"
"SILENCE! Why have you brought me to this pathetic plane of yours?"
"Er. To get Cassidy back..?"
"Hrrn.. That.. Can be done. What do you offer as boon?"
"Ehm. I got this very nice belt buckle I co-"
"SILENCE! FOOL! I crave no such things! Do you not see what I am? Do you not see my tentacles? ... Pretty boy?" The demon winked at him with a million slime covered eyes.
"Er?"
"Your wish is accepted! Now I shall claim my boon!"
"Oh snap.."

--------

A while later a tall, lithe and stunningly beautiful woman steps out of nowhere and the first thing she sees is the shaking body of Quin hugging his knees tightly. The woman just looks at him silently and after a while Quin looks up at her through tearful eyes.

"C-Cassidy?"