[Open PRP!] Bar Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

(by Loff the peon )

The door is kicked at with a dull thud, opening just a bit. Only after several kicks is the door open enough for the grubby shape of Loff the Peon to charge into the fray, brandishing his worn broom and screaming at the top of his voice:

"WORK WORK!!1".

Hammering the broom into the floor, a geyser of filth, dirt and banana skins erupts below the feet of Liontooth, blowing the bear roofwards and sending him crashing down towards an unsuspecting Opathu.

[ Post edited by Loff ]

(by Malek)

Malek stealths out in the middle of the room, feeling the gaze of many... A very murderous gaze.

-Nice bar. Like the name, it suits it perfectly. So, who do i have to kill to get a drink here?

-silence-

-Get HIM!

-F...

*vanish*

-I'll be back you #%!#%!s.

(by Opathu)

Seeing Ron Jeremy aka Malek-the-Moustache trying to stealth into the blown-apart remnants of the pub, Two-Smile side-stepped neatly towards the bloated, overweight "rouger" and was about to ask for his latest delivery of "art erotique" when Liontooth crashed, face-first, into the splintered floor where he'd just been standing.

A huge eruption of blood and bear guts ensued, covering the entire smouldering ruins -- and all those in it -- in bile, blood and the contents of Lion's entrails (including his last meal *shock horror* a beef burger!). Staring for a second at the carnage and chaos, Two-Smile intoned:

"Wassuppppp my man! Where's me delivery?"

(by Reltak)

Euh, hrrrm.... Look guys, i know I'm not from around here, but i could really use some beverage.

(by Gurthang)

A muffled sound gets progressively louder until it eventually becomes an audible "AAAARRRRR@@@GHHHH!!!!" ((3 "G"'s in a row is bad?))
Suddenly, there is a louder cry of "DWARF BOMB!" and with crashing and splintering through the roof and first floor a green plate clad dwarf landed, square on the shield on his back. While the other patrons of the inn stared on, the dwarf pulled himself to his feet, grumbling something about never taking up an offer of a lift from moody elven druids, even in an emergency, ever again.
Then, after surveying the scene, he cracked his knuckles and bellowed, "I heard there was a bar fight somewhere!" and with that charged straight for the nearest orc as he begun to kick arses and take some names.
This continued for several minutes until the dwarf decided to wade his way out of the fight for a quick drink.
"Barkeep, a flagon of milk please" he said to the bartender, who was hiding behind his counter to avoid any stray fists that might make their way towards him. The bartender looked at him with surprise and then passed out as a knife from a passing rogue hit the wall right next to his nose.
Determined for a drink, Gurthang plucked himself up onto the counter and then down the other side.
"Milk, milk, milk, milk. Now if I were a barman, where would I hide the milk?" he said to himself as he searched under the bar for his favourite tipple.

[ Post edited by Gurthang ]

(by Opathu)

Holding the struggling little poo-smelling man at arms length, grinning as he watched him swing wildly but ineffectually at all and sundry, the giant orc turned to his crew and said:

"Who's round?"

And:

"Anyone need a new gimp?"

Meanwhile, Gurthang puffed and panted, trying desperately to hit one of the Black Oak Crew as they laughed, and laughed, and oh-so-cruelly laughed.... it was just like that first day of school, when they flushed his head down the loo! Oh the shame! Tears of pain and humiliation sprung to his eyes, as he grit his teeth, swung madly his little flailing arms one last time and said:

"For Kazy-thingy-me-wotsit!1!1"

(by Gurthang)

Determined to get his drink of milk, Gurthang clicked his heels together, causing spikes to point out from the toe caps. Swinging his legs as hard as he could, he kicked the big orc bully square in the shins. At this, the orc cried out in anger and pain, released his grip on Gurthang's helm. Determined not to be denied any further time searching for his udder juice he kicked again, this time in the orc's crown jewels, causing the orc's eyes to boggle just before he fell over in a heap, straight through a table.
Gurthang then continued his search for milk.
After exhausting himself wading through the heaps of bodies and body parts in the basement, and to no avail on the milk front, Gurthang decided that this wasn't his sort of bar fight.
"Right lads, thanks for the ruck and all that but I'm off to find myself some proper drink! I hear that some bird called Teeboppity is well endowed with milk, or so I over heard some guy called Quintilius saying in the Gadgetzan pub, so I'm off to find her and see what she can offer me!"
And with that, Gurthang jumped head first through a window, onto his waiting ram and away to the north.

(by Opathu)

Shifting past his ever-useful but battered body-double -- lying on the floor clutching his crown jewels -- Opathu marvelled that his pint of Darkmoon Special only had the most minute film of brick dust in it.

"My, now ain't that a marvel!" he crooned, and chugged back the brew. Two large Orcish gentlemen pushed past, growling and muttering something about ".. dwarf tossing" and ".. the gimp is late..".

( by Gurfang)

Peering in through the hole where the window had been, Gurfang was a bit puzzled by what he saw.
"Lukz lyk dem evee boyz az bin in eer an ad sum fun wid-art me!" Then, seeing an unconscious female elf on the floor he jumped through the dwarf-shaped hole and made straight for the body. Grabbing her by her hair, he pulled her towards the basement stairs. Pulling her down to the bottom, Gurfang pulled out his axe and made ready. After not eating elf for a week he was eager to start with this one. Swinging down, he noticed that the elf woke just as he sliced through both legs, the cracking of bone almost matching the blood-curdling scream in volume. Knowing that he only had a few moments before the alerted someone to help her, Gurfang cut out the elf's very own knee cap and shoved it in her mouth to keep her quiet. Then, to make sure of no more fighting, Gurfang tied up both the elf's arms and strung them to an over head beam. His agony for elf flesh was so piqued now that it was all he could do to keep himself from convulsing. He pulled out his trusty hunting knife and sliced in to the abdomen of the elf, watching for one glorious moment as the elf's internal organs fell towards the floor. Finally, reaching inside the now clear thorax, Gurfang reached into the elf's chest and found her heart. With a quick tug and twist he brought it out into the open and, as the poor, helpless elf maiden breathed her last, the ravenous orc took a huge bite from the now still yet still blood-full muscle and sighed in ecstasy, slumping to the floor to continue his meal.

(by Quintilius)

Quintilius gathers himself and gets to his feet.

"This is my barfight and you all must DIE!"

Quintilius walks over the the ever ping pong shooting Lithaella and picks her up and starts aiming her shots. With the help of rythmic presses around her waist he intensifies the power and velocity of the ping pong balls up to lethal proportions. Quintilius giggles maniacly as he squeezes Lithaella and seeing the ping pong alls now piercing armor and flesh alike.

Hordes of folks fall to the onslaught of hyper speed ping pong balls and Quin sets up his cannon and shoots Quins Sparkle (tm) over all present...

[ Post edited by Quintilius ]

(By Opathu)

((Quin's Sparkle????! o.O))

*raises umbrella*

((edit: Gurfang/thang is more sick than me!))

[ Post edited by Opathu ]

(by Quintilius)

The fight is raging on stronger than ever before when suddenly a new figure enters the scene.

Sudden Silence.

Chairs stop breaking, heads stop cracking and even the pops from the ping pong balls stop.
A sea of broken, swollen and bleeding eyes turns towards the person in the door.
A faint odour of sweet cherries spreads across the room.
Who is this?

Her hair cascades down her shoulders like quicksilver down to her voluptuous breasts. Her steelblue eyes shines with the promise of death and her lucious lips purses ever so slighlty.

Somewhere a man walks over the stage completely naked rolling an orange.

Still silence.

A faint whisper.. Niana..

Nobody moves expect a broken bloody corpse of a man who seems to miss an arm, but the ever present grin still is present.

"Flame on!" Quintilius yells and a bright shining light envelopes him and an instant later when the light fades a dashing young man in shining armour stands there grinning like a boyband poster at Niana.

"Hey there babes.. new in town?" The warrior, who could very well be the very ideal of a greek statue, approached her with foolishly confident steps. The collective crowd winced. In a corner a bunch of burly men dressed in maids costumes, latex gimp suites and skimpy Darnassian sentinel uniforms glared at her hatefully because to them, the roleplayers, she was The Lich Queen herself.

Niana slowly, but deliberate like an freight train set her gaze on the grinning Quin.

"What you say 'bout a nice calm evening out on the grassy fields of Nagrand, eh? Just me and you, a blanket, some sandwiches and a flask of port, eh?" Quin ventured.

And 'lo, because unto him she then sayeth....?



EDIT: fixed voluptuous

[ Post edited by Quintilius ]

(by Lushan)

As the birds twitter and the noise of the explosions die down, a beggar looms into view amidst the torn flesh and rubble.

"My, my, my, what have we here then?"

He licks his lips.

"Heroes, gimps, and a night elf priestess with ... yes, it seems a 5 o'clock shadow. Hmmm... is it lady-boy night again?"

After looking in despair for a drink, he wanders off, tapping his cane all the while.

"Tap-tap, tap-tap, tap ...."

(by Naryanir)

*hurls a full wine bottle at undead's head *

"take that !you stinky beggar!"

*after some sec, hears the crack of a bone*

"here is another hole on your useless skull.." *grins**looks around for another victim to fracture his/her skull*

(by Kaalesh)

*charges into the bar crackling with arcane energy and laughing like a hyena. She raises her hands, a sharp blue dot forming in each palm*
Cha all gonna be SHEEP!
*scratches her nose and twists into a sheep as the spell discharges and backfires*
Ah.. no' 'gain...

[ Post edited by Kaalesh ]

(by Gurfang)

Fresh from his feast in the basement, Gurfang heard that the cries were still ongoing upstairs, so immediately ran back to join in the fray. After scalping a Dwarf for getting in his way, he finds he is behind a female sporting a large bottle in one hand and seemingly aiming at random. Not believing his luck, he punched her square in the kindeys and then mounted (thought you might like this, Oppy) her limp body, baring his sharp teeth and readying for a feast.

(by Lionthooth)

Sounds of gears grinding and metal glanking could be heard approaching closer and closer.

A large tauren entered seemingly covered in Khorium. Each step he took shook the very earth they connected to. He stops his movements as he enters the bar and slowly peers from one end of the bar to the other.

With a simple raise of his hand guns, swords, lazor devices and all sorts of powerful weaponary appeared from all over his body. He charged up the lazor cannons in his hands and lifted up his visor. He smirked and uttered the words "Its show time!"

[ Post edited by Liontooth ]

(by Lushan)

The old man dived for cover, thinking this must be the very end of the world.

"Ye gods!" he screamed to himself, through the din. "This is worse than that time that Xari took down Arthas and Kael'thas, whilst Subliminal destroyed the House of Sylvanas and Huor sang beebopalula on both ends of his body!"


[ Post edited by Lushan ]

(by Vexacus)

Vexacus observed RoboLion enter the bar. Thinking quickly, he reached down to his Utility Belt and removed a Vexa-Industries EMP grenade.

"See you at the party, Lointooth" he yelled, casually tossing the primed grenade towards him.

(by Liontooth)

Liontooth shrugged as his lazor eyes destroyed the grenade mid air.

"Hasta la vista...Warlock"

Liontooth aimed all his weaponary and showered Vexacus in a sea of bullets, lazers, knifes and cats! To the be finished off by firing a brutal SHS rogue at him!

[ Post edited by Liontooth ]

(by Vexacus)

Micro-seconds before the shower of projectiles struck him, Vexacus finished the shadow incantation which transported him into the Wotlk beta. Taking a quick visit to the trainer, he respecced his talents for demon form, transformed into a demon, and returned himself to the bar.

Roaring with anger, he sucked the shower of lazer blasts, bullets, knifes and cats into his mighty demonic maw, before spitting them all back out at Liontooth. At the last moment the demonic orc gagged, realising he had swallowed a brutal SHS rogue as well. The rogue left a taste foul even to a demon in his mouth, and Vexacus spat him out accross the bar whilst simulatenously showering everyone inside with a stream of vomit.

(by Liontooth)

Upon seeing the projectiles coming his way RoboLion activated his Hoverhooves (tm) to fly out of the way. He cackled as everyone else was drowned in vomit and watched as his projectiles where about to hit Gurfang in the back.

(by Gurfang)

Having been told that it is often good to change positions when mounting lunch, and especially to allow her to be on top when munched on, Gurfang rolled onto his back and prepared to bite from below.

(by Lushan)

Whimpering in the corner, Lushan tried to unfold his Acme Black Oak© Industries Ironying Board®, which the goblin salesman had promised him, in a glib rush, would protect him in all those situations when the Do-Not Panic sunglasses failed (like now).

He remembered something about "stoopid phuk e-penners and kidz wun unnerstan' this, capische bruv?" but the maelstrom was too intense to recall if he'd got that correct.

Just at that moment he saw a giant form enter the bar and call out "Ere we go, ere we go, ere we go! Aw'right lads, let's 'ave it! C'mon you kants!!" There was a showering of glass ...

(by Opathu)

... as a massive, ogre-sized fist connected with an orc's face on the far side of the bar. The orc's teeth and jawbone seemed to ... disintegrate into blood and bone, as a forearm slammed into a ladyboy wearing an 'Aqilalololol' t-shirt over her ragged nipple chain, and a moustachioed human tattooed with "ARUN WUZ HERE" across his forehead promptly shat his load onto his glowing robes.

"Ello ladeez!!" exclaimed Opathu Two-Smile, gleaming and grinning like a homocidal maniac.

[ Post edited by Opathu ]